[NEW BLOG ADDRESS]

Please keep in mind that I only use my Xanga account to receive the updates and also to comment on my friend's Xanga blogs.

If you are interested in my thoughts, please feel free to visit my current blog

Tuesday, 05 January 2010

  • [the move]

    dear friends and visitors,

    it has been wonderful 4 years with xanga. i have made lots of friends, i had fun reading the posts and sharing my thoughts with you.

    i will still continue checking this blog once in a while (and i still get your updates in my mail every day), but the blog moves to the new address.

    feedback is welcome as always, so feel free to comment on my other blog. it does not require you to be a registered user to comment.

    not saying good-bye, therefore, but rather "see ya!"

    Zee

Sunday, 08 November 2009

  • [what is the most inspiring book you've ever read?]

    oooh, carpe_diem gets a new FQ! and the topic is just perfect!

    the most inspiring book i've read was probably When Heaven Weeps by Ted Dekker - it talked about God's love for us, imperfect beings... His dancing and rejoicing over us... oh, Ted's a master of describing things in such way that it almost has the power to lift you off the ground in the wings of imagination. same happened when i was reading Red (also by Dekker)...

    the other book that affected me deeply was Les Miserables by Victor Hugo. the story of Jean Valjean and his courage and humility is amazing.

Saturday, 07 November 2009

  • [brothers karamazov. intro]

    70 pages into Dostoevsky's Brothers Karamazov.

    the reason i began to read it in the first place is because my pastor kept bugging me about not reading "famous Russian classics" and that i am not reading anything in Russian, just English...

    my initial reaction to Dostoevsky was that of dislike. i had to read Crime and Punishment in school, but all i really know about that book is that it was extremely boring (at least the way my teacher described it - and i wasn't encouraged at all to read it myself), full of deep page-long phrases that could rival Paul's in the New Testament, and that the book was about a guy who killed some old lady.

    (not sure what was it about teachers of literature in school, but i don't think i ever read anything that i was told to read back then. the only literature classes that i enjoyed (and read everything assigned) were the ones in university, with the teacher whom i first hated and then befriended... he was the one who could talk about the book in such a way that made me want to read it too.)

    so when i finally decided that i need to read Brothers Karamazov i felt reluctant because my reasons for reading weren't the ones i usually have. i didn't want to read this book to enjoy it. i wanted to read it just to be able to say that i've read it and that i don't like it.

    i was surprised when 40 pages into it i realized that not everything is so bad about it.
    things i like so far:

    there are a lot of spiritual discussions about different questions, as well as those that have bothered me personally. i expect there would be many more.

    i like some of the quotes from it already. for example, "The more I love humanity in general, the less I love man in particular"...
    things i don't like so far:

    i hate the way Dostoevsky describes people. he makes all the characters in the book feel... dirty or like they all have their own hidden agenda and there's nothing good about them. i guess in English his descriptions would not convey the same disdain because technically they aren't bad - they are just... not serious. i am not sure how to describe it. but i do not like the fact that there are no likable characters.

    he likes long words and even longer sentences. they are good, but it's so easy to get lost in the description and not get the meaning of the sentence. which renders the whole idea quite useless if you think about it.

    but, so far it has been good and i will continue reading. therefore, more updates to come.

Monday, 02 November 2009

  • [invisible forces]

    everyone around talks about the A/H1N1 pandemic that broke out in Ukraine. being an observer, it was interesting to watch people's reactions to the news. some panicked, some decided that it isn't worth the panic, some thought it's a conspiracy theory against election meetings, some...

    with schools and universities closed down for three weeks, there were considerably less people in the public transportation today and i had an opportunity to actually watch people instead of just minding where i step since one inch right or left and i would step on someone, like it usually happens.

    i couldn't help but notice people in masks. Ukrainian government is not really smart in this area (as well as in many other) and therefore there were not enough masks manufactured in preparation for a possible pandemic. as a result, those people who were lucky, got normal facial masks. others made the masks out of gauze. still others used scarves and turtleneck sweatshirts for protection. i belonged to the fourth group - those without the masks.

    as i walked down the metro the story of Gideon popped into my mind... the way he was choosing (or the way God was choosing) the soldiers for the army.
    God said to Gideon: "There are still too many. Take them down to the stream and I'll make a final cut. When I say, 'This one goes with you,' he'll go. When I say, 'This one doesn't go,' he won't go." So Gideon took the troops down to the stream.
    God said to Gideon: "Everyone who laps with his tongue, the way a dog laps, set on one side. And everyone who kneels to drink, drinking with his face to the water, set to the other side." Three hundred lapped with their tongues from their cupped hands. All the rest knelt to drink.

    Judges 7:4-6, the Messagewas i like the ones who kneeling to drink, without thinking about the danger? was it reckless to not wear a mask? "maybe i should get myself one..." i thought to myself, but still the idea seemed silly to me.

    with those thoughts in mind, i came to work and we had staff meeting. our boss whom i respect started talking about the flu and preventive measures. "masks don't do nada. if they do anything, they help the bacteria circulate inside the mask instead of letting it out and as a result make the situation even worse and risk of contamination a lot higher. the virus is so small that it will get through the mask anyway."

    the virus is so small...

    that triggered another set of musings... it felt odd to walk on the street and see people in masks. a bit surreal even. the day seemed to be just like another day. sun rose, i rose as well... showering, dressing, leaving home... everything just like on any other day, yet different.

    something changed. something was in the air. literally.

    it makes me grin wryly that people can easily believe that a minuscule virus can wreck havoc in a human body and make it die... but at the same time don't see what God is doing in their lives.

    read a joke recently... "people's faith is weird. you tell them there are 4 billion stars out there and they believe you. you tell them that the bench is painted and they have to go and check it out."

    why is it easier to believe in a virus and not in God? just because you can see the virus?

    so what? most people have no idea what virus looks like. they have never seen any cells. yet, they believe it.

    God? oh no... believing that God is real is so tough. it's easier to believe that the Universe just decided to be.

    The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It's our handle on what we can't see. The act of faith is what distinguished our ancestors, set them above the crowd. By faith, we see the world called into existence by God's word, what we see created by what we don't see.

    Hebrews 11:1-3, the Message


    ...what we see created by what we don't see.

    and you know? there actually is no A/H1N1 virus in Kyiv yet. it is in Western Ukraine. not over here. yet people are still wearing masks... believing that will help them. placebo...

    but i guess wearing a mask is easier than taking up your cross and following Him.

Saturday, 31 October 2009

  • [white noise.]

    i got a new favored singer - Dave Matthews. not that i did not like him before, but his song Gravedigger for some reason is stuck in my brain for a couple of days now. before that it was Some Devil song...

    A/H1N1 finally made it to Ukraine... with vengeance. 30+ people have died in the western Ukraine already and the official statement from the government was that it's the epidemic. people are wearing masks (those lucky ones who could find them - drug stores no longer have simple facial masks), universities and schools are closed down for three weeks. weird that universities are closed - usually it was only schools. oh well. epidemics happen.

    Church tomorrow. my pastor is gone to Philippines to help with typhoon consequences. i wonder who'll preach.

    the word madame could've come from old Hebrew "from Adam"... meadam. makes sense...

    sick and tired of songs of 90s that mom's been listening to the entire day. she didn't go to Church because she's sick and with this whatever-epidemic it's better to stay home. so my only quiet day went out the window. not that i don't like spending time with mom, but i just looked forward to this day off...

    our neighbors been remodeling their balcony. for most of the day. LOUD. dang it... so nice to hear the sound of a drill entering a concrete wall when you have a headache.

    a piece of glass from my overhead lamp fell on my head yesterday. thankfully just a scratch and a little bruise, nothing serious. it just dropped on me, all of a sudden, when i was sitting on the couch, deciding what to wear to work. thank God it wasn't during the night when i was sleeping - that would've had a lot worse consequences.

    got most of my projects completed at work. still a few to work on.

Sunday, 25 October 2009

  • [things kids say]

    a couple of weeks ago i have brought my mini evangelicube to work. everyone seemed interested in that little creation of paper and wood, and as a result they also saw the Story... some asked questions, some made fun of it, some just quietly looked at it...

    a lot of people were interested in the way the evangelicube was made so that you could seemingly move it any way and it would fold and open... so i decided to try to make one myself - without the Story, but just a cube.

    equipped with a fashion magazine, tape, and scissors, i set to work. back when i was a kid, my mom got me a book "100 crafts from paper"... one of my favorite crafts was an inflatable cube. i made 8 of them, taped them together and voilĂ ! - my cube was done.


    it was bigger than the tiny evangelicube, but still...

    one friday, my little 5-year-old boyfriend showed up at work. he brought some cars and a motorcycle with him and we decided that my big cube makes a perfect garage - all the cars fit!


    but then, as i returned to work i was doing before he showed up, Kostik got interested in the little evangelicube.

    "Oh, Jesus Christ!" he exclaimed.

    i looked back and he was holding the evangelicube open on the picture with Jesus on the cross.

    "Yep, that's him."

    "So what happened next?" he asked, trying to figure out how the cube worked.

    I opened the next picture... "They buried him... yet" - i opened another pic - "He rose from the dead."

    "why?"

    "because He is our way to God now. See the guy who's standing on something that looks like a road? That's cross. It's like a bridge."

    "oh..."

    he busied himself with looking through the cube, going through the story again... but as i turned to my laptop's screen, i heard an exclamation.

    "i found God!"

    i grinned and looked back. he was holding the evangelicube open on the cross-bridge picture.

    heh...

    "I'm telling you, once and for all, that unless you return to square one and start over like children, you're not even going to get a look at the kingdom, let alone get in. Whoever becomes simple and elemental again, like this child, will rank high in God's kingdom," said Jesus to his disciples. (Matthew 18:3-4, the Message)

    i want to have a faith like a child.

    since i am a child. of God.
  • [what movie can you watch again and again?]

    there are a few that i've watched over and over... here are the two top ones:

    1. Sluzhebniy Roman (Romance at Work) - a soviet melodramatic comedy. it's hilarious, it talks plainly about the relationships between men and women, and it's just beautiful... i can watch it over and over and over. the silliness of it is cute. and the quotes from that movie has become slang for all those who watched the movie at least once (and that means almost everyone on the territory of former USSR... besides the younger kids who are only interested in something new and fast and filled with effects...)

    2. Evan Almighty - a friend of mine and i have watched that soooo many times. and still haven't got tired of it. the quote "God, please love me less" alone makes one watch the movie.

zenichka

  • Visit zenichka's Xanga Site
    • Name: Zee
    • Location: Kiev, Ukraine
    • Birthday: 2/1/1986
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 10/18/2005
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Chatboard (6)

  • zenichka
    @rourk - you're welcome :)))) my philosophy is - get to know as many bros and sisters in this life so that there will be more "reunions" later :)))))
  • rourk
    thanks for being my friend Zena have a nice day
    • Posted 2/3/2009 9:35 PM
    • by rourk
  • Ajnabi_al_Angrezi
    Because I say so! No, well..... I have a certain thing to sort out. See you in a bit.
  • Ajnabi_al_Angrezi
    Um..... This may be a bit odd, but for the next few weeks my name is Adam Smith...... -Mr Adam Smith God Bless!
  • Ajnabi_al_Angrezi
    That, my dear is known as the Chatboard Existentialist Predicament. Many believe that a chatboard has an essence independent of what can be seen, heard or felt and that, whether or not a chatboard is used, it still remains a chatboard in itself. Some philosophers, such as Jean-Paul Sartre disagree,
  • zenichka
    what's the point in chatboard if no one ever really uses it? :""(((